Beth's Babbles: The 10 types of manager

Following on from my recent post "The 10 types of customer", here are the 10 types of manager I have encountered. Some of my facebook friends may recognise certain attributes. Before you go on, please note that these sterotypes take qualities from different managers I have seen (not necessarily had as my manager) and most do not represent one single person. Most.

1. The crazy one
This one comes in different forms, as all crazy people do, but the one I'm talking about is always up for a laugh, and lets you laugh AT them. They wear a variety of hats to all team meetings, to distract the staff from bad news. They spend the day googling office jokes, pictures of cats or the Duchess of Alba.

2. The mafia boss
This boss has the team's best interest at heart, and think of them like a family. They are loved by their team, who treat him/her with respect and can also have a laugh - until someone steps out of line. And at that point all hell breaks loose and no-one knows what will happen next. You want nothing more than to please this person, and when you do it will benefit you immensely. But if you do anything wrong, even without realising...boom!

3. The scary one
You live in constant fear of this one. Whether or not they are a fair manager, you've heard the stories about the former employee who was caught having an extra 10 minutes of their lunch break and got his stomach ripped out; and the cleaner that accidently knocked the boss' documents on the floor and got a vacuum cleaner hose rammed down their throat. You're not sure whether or not these stories are true, but you definitely don't want to find out first hand!

4. The tight one
Whether the manager of a big or small business, it doesn't matter - this manager does everything they can to cut costs. There are some things we can learn from this one, like remembering to switch off the light, or emailing instead of printing paper. But some things they do don't seem to make sense to everyone else, especially when it involves wages, staff welfare, or the ability for the staff to do their job as they should.

5. The one that doesn't give a #@$%
Staff love this one, but the company HQ do not. They can ignore bad behaviour, because the paperwork to do otherwise is just too much. They let staff get away with what they want - which of course means less work gets done, more money wasted, bad behaviour and in some cases can have very bad outcomes for the company, the team, and the individuals. This one can be new to the role, or has been there for so long that they really no longer care.

6. The arrogant one
This one is usually pretty good at what they do in work, but they are a terrible human being. They make "jokes" that are not only incredibly dull, but also quite insulting. They speak their mind without tact, no matter the consequences. They'll probably end up driving their best team members away because they're a dick.

7. The cool one
The cool one is alright! They know how to do their job well, and then will invite the team out for a drink after, and depending on how they are feeling might even buy the first round. They can have a laugh. You respect this one as a superior, but at the same time consider adding them on facebook. They know the names of every employee, no matter how big the company.

8. The dictator
"Clean that! Get me a coffee! Clean it again! You're 30 seconds late! Inhale! Exhale!". Once upon a time, this one would have been quite scary - but in this day and age most people have had enough of them, and will probably just leave, or do the exact opposite of what they say. They usually get stuff done, even if there is nothing to do. But the staff hate them, and do not feel valued as valid members of the team.

9. The fair one
The fair one has been doing this job a while, and they know how to get the best out of their team. They are professional and easily approachable, but also don't stand for bad behaviour. The team like and respect them, but will probably never socialise with them outside of work.

10. The one that thinks with their dick
Actually, this one is quite commonly (as I have seen) a female. They may be more inclined to hire someone, or let them get away with something depending on their gender. They are a dirty, slimy individual. They love to gossip about the team, and have a fair few stories themselves. "Friendships" with them can sometimes be advantageous, but are also very, very dangerous. And if you cock-block them, you will forever be hated and they may even end up sacking you.